Unfortunately, I am someone who has a hard time shaking a bad feeling. Things eat at me. I sometimes feel “off,” like something is somehow not quite right. I might feel a worry in the pit of my stomach that I can’t tie to any specific thing. But out of such moments are born some of my most sincere prayers. Romans 8:26 is a verse I find beautiful first for what it says and the deep feeling it communicates and second for the language Paul uses; for its poetry.
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.
Prayer is such a beautiful thing. A direct line of communication with God that might be desperately honest, quiet, joyful, yearning, painful… a moment to acknowledge and really feel our blessings. But it can be confusing, too. The verse above really speaks to a problem I face: I sometimes am not sure what I should pray for. I find myself trying to discern the will of God as I make my requests. My intention is good (I think we should absolutely search our hearts and come to God with the purest possible intention) but I do appreciate the reminder and confirmation that God knows my heart and my need as well as the hearts and needs of everyone else. I can simply say, for example, “God, this is what’s weighing on my mind and heart. I don’t know what your will is for this situation, but this is my hope,” or even, “God, this is what I’m feeling, but I have no idea what should happen here. Please intercede for me.”
Prayer is, of course, extremely personal. I tend to have ongoing, quite casual conversations with God. This is what has always worked for me, but I’m going to make an effort to reserve a specific time every day and dedicate it to prayer. Not that I won’t still blabber in my head while I’m doing the dishes or driving to Target. 🙂
And now I’m rambling a bit, but as I write these words about prayer and understanding God’s will for our lives, I begin to think about conviction. It’s a whole different topic that I’ll save for a different day, but sometimes I have a hard time feeling conviction about anything. I try so hard not to be presumptuous that I wind up not taking a stand on very many things. I want to be confident in what I believe but it’s tough to strike a balance when there’s so much information to sift through! I feel very under-educated most of the time.
Thank you for taking the time to read today’s somewhat disorganized post! 🙂 I hope everyone has a wonderful week!