This probably seems off-topic, but…

I have a question for you. While it isn’t directly spiritual, it is weighing on me in the same way that spiritual matters do (and I apologize in advance for the rambling nature of this post!).

Do you ever find that you enjoy the idea of something or the anticipation of it more than the actual thing? Just as an example, I love the idea of writing. I love the idea of a beautiful pen and the sound it makes moving over a rough piece of paper. I love the way the ink looks and all the related smells. I even love the idea of typing – the raspy click sound, the feel and the way my fingers look whether hesitating or moving assuredly over the keys. But somehow, when I’m actually writing, I forget to take that fullness from the experience.

Why do we romanticize things the way we do? Or why does fulfillment of our goals not lead to similar fulfillment of our souls? I can’t help but feel sometimes that desire is an almost useless evolutionary leftover. Almost. I can understand it as a survival instinct. It motivates us to go on. But as our lives become more complex and the things we need are more easily obtained, is it possible our desires become more trivial? Particularly in a country that enjoys so much excess. Today we don’t need to focus our desire on food, because it is so easily procured. More food than we could ever hope to eat is shrink wrapped and waiting in a cavernous store five minutes from everywhere. Instead of warmth, we might desire a carved headboard and a down comforter. I’m not saying this is necessarily wrong. I think beauty and innovation can be truly wonderful things – but I, at least, have a hard time enjoying life to the fullest. I seek God and think ultimate fulfillment comes from God, but in the meantime – has anyone grappled with this problem and come to any kind of conclusion? Thanks for reading!


One thought on “This probably seems off-topic, but…

  1. I’ve thought about your question, and have certainly dealt with these feelings myself, and think most people do. Our pastor has made the comment on many occasions that our wanting for more is our built-in desire to have a relationship with Jesus, and when that is not fulfilled, our human nature is to always be anticipating how wonderful something will be, and then being left with wanting more.

    For example: why do athletes, movie stars, rock stars, or people who are at the top of the world (or sometimes the bottom), come crashing down when they finally reach all that they can reach, and they still aren’t happy. How many of them, if they were honest, had any type of relationship with God?

    I know for myself (and I have never reached the top of anything), but until I started pursuing a relationship with Christ, I was always wanting for something I couldn’t have and never content with anything.

    I think that you will find as your relationship grows with Christ, you will become more content with the small things in life. Reflect back on your life to 1, 2, 5, 10, or even 15 years ago, and compare your longings with where you are at today. Just your statement in how being a mother has been the most fulfilling thing in your life, may not have been something you would have thought about 10 years ago, but you are content with where God has placed you and making the most of it.

    Anyway, enough of my rambling. I hope this makes sense. Keep looking up.

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