“Which brings me to the point. How Biblical Manhood and Biblical Womanhood – whatever those phrases mean – are lived by the members of the body of Christ will be different for each individual woman and man. The only universal principle that I can discern in Scripture is that we are each destined to be more like Jesus as we grow in him.”

I love that. Here are some of my thoughts on this issue.

First, I believe that historical context has some bearing on specific verses applying to women (such as, perhaps, Paul’s instructions about women serving in the church in 1 Corinthians 14:33-35), but the general theme of submission and subservience seems to say that women are worth less than men. This offends my sensitive ego (hmm… now we’re getting somewhere. )Please don’t misunderstand – I do believe that men and women are different and that acknowledging and embracing our diversity allows us to serve better. The issue for me is this feeling of inherent inferiority. But I think maybe I’m reading something that isn’t there. The fact is, verses about submission do not apply only to women. It is easy to pluck these verses out of the Bible and, therefore, assess them out of context, but we are ALL to live lives of submission in Christ. And the beautiful thing is that if we follow the advice given us, there is no abuse of power; in fact, we use it to give back and to serve. Submission is power, for serving others is an act of love and nothing is more valuable or powerful than that. Like any ideal, this model can and has been perverted, taken out of context and used as justification for devaluing people. That is not an indication of its validity, but of the misguided (at least, that’s the word I’ll use in polite company) nature of humanity.

I still don’t entirely understand the hierarchical structure evidenced in the Bible, even within the trinity, but at the end of the day, Christ served us and he served God. If Jesus’ ego didn’t keep him from washing the feet of his disciples, maybe mine shouldn’t keep me from washing the feet of my husband, or anyone else for that matter. The validity test? Well, I’ll let you know if the fruit is good. I suspect it will be.

It brings to mind Pharaoh’s repeated refusals to release the Israelites from Egypt. Scripture tells us that Pharaoh hardened his own heart a number of times and also that God hardened his heart. I think this is an important distinction. Why would God do such a thing? I can only guess, but if God knew Pharaoh’s heart and mind as intimately as only a creator could, knew Pharaoh would never act out of true and good conviction and saw that the only way to effect the release of the people and wider-spread knowledge of his power was to harden Pharaoh’s heart… well, that makes sense to me. So, at what point does God take me at my word? When does he finally say, “Okay – you’ve said no and you’ve said no. You’ve made it pretty clear that you aren’t interested in the work I’ve set before you.”?

I certainly don’t want that to happen. I want to give back. Why don’t I? I’m sure there’s lots of psychology there, but at least in part it’s vanity and power struggle. I want to be in control of my own life. Sounds ridiculous, but it burns me sometimes that no matter what I do, I am not my own master. But I didn’t make me, so whatever beauty and goodness I find there, whatever capacity for beauty and goodness I find there, I can only credit to the one who did.

I don’t have any fabulous pointers about overcoming these obstacles to obedience, but I needed to record these thoughts somewhere. If you DO happen to have pointers, by all means, comment!

God, please make me receptive to your Word and your sovereignty. Amen.

Jesus exhibited a commitment to long, hard work, as did his disciples. And they knew the importance of rest. Interestingly, though, for Jesus and at least some of his disciples it seemed to be their only work. I’m sure that work manifested itself in myriad ways, but the goal was unchanging. Maybe that’s what needs to change for me. I tend to focus on the individual goals of each activity or venture and am quick to lose sight of God in them. And maybe it seems over the top to keep my eye on God while I’m vacuuming up cracker crumbs and dog hair, but If my goal is to love and please God as well as I possibly can, if I stop saying, “I don’t want to” so often and just act, maybe the work will be more fruitful and the rest and refreshment will come easier.

But WHY is it so very hard? I know that it won’t easy to change my focus. Even now my brain and heart are rejecting some of the things I know I need to do to eliminate the clutter that doesn’t serve his purpose. I don’t know how to become a cheerful and energetic giver, except to continue to pray and, well, fake it till I make it.

It is encouraging to look back over the last few years, though, and see that I have changed. I know that I will ALWAYS be trying to get closer to God, but it’s nice to know that progress can be made. For all of you stubborn kindred spirits who are struggling to give up the internal battle and let God change you, I get it. Keep the faith!

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” -Colossians 3:23-24

I don’t have a wise insight or biblical wisdom that makes it all easier, but a verse that I read a few months ago stayed with me and keeps coming to mind, so I wanted to share it.

“And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher.”  Isaiah 30:20

Oddly, while the promise is comforting, it isn’t what struck me. What struck me was the God-given “…bread of adversity and the water of affliction.” Could it be that sometimes these are the very things that sustain us? Such things often prompt us to look to God, to accept our inability apart from Him. I don’t wish to sound callous, but maybe pain can indeed nourish us. God, I hope so. And I pray for the courage, compassion and humble spirit necessary to be your hands and feet.   

I can’t buy the argument that it’s about truth because, again, why does the truth matter if we die and don’t go on? If my way of life brings me fulfillment, why work so hard to destroy that, especially when you can’t prove it wrong?

And if you’ve had a bad experience with people claiming religion as their justification for bad behavior, well… people can pervert ANY cause. I, too, oppose any perpetuation of discrimination, bigotry, cruelty and disease. It IS okay and, in fact, right for each person to discern between what they believe is good and what they believe is evil or wrong. Everyone does it, whether or not they are religious, so the “judgmental” argument falls apart for me, too.

Please don’t think I am trying to be incendiary here. And this really isn’t a rhetorical question. I would love some sincere input to better understand where you’re coming from. Thank you!

I recently heard an interesting comparison worth sharing. I can’t seem to find the source for this sacrifice analogy but in it humanity is likened to a human body with a faulty heart that needs a transplant. Jesus offers his at the cost of his own life. I kind of like that, but the question it doesn’t address for me is this one:  Does Jesus’ resurrection make his sacrifice less meaningful?

After some reading and thinking, I don’t think so. The greater our love for our loved ones, the greater our pain when they are hurting, making terrible choices, dying. If God’s love for humanity and Jesus is not only great, but perfect, perhaps his suffering is that much more agonizing, whether temporary or not. The same might be said of Jesus.

Another interesting idea is that the way we understand sacrifice today is different from its biblical meaning. We seem very focused on suffering when we talk about sacrifice, but maybe it isn’t about how much Jesus suffered or even IF he suffered. Scripture tells us that he did (Heb 2:18, Mat. 27: 46, Mat. 26:36-39), and I believe that DOES make a difference, but should it affect our view of the validity of his sacrifice? In the Old Testament, it doesn’t seem that a sacrifice is more or less effective based on the level of suffering. Sacrificing to God means to me that we present something valuable to him, saying in our hearts, “yes, this thing is important to me, but I can give it up, offering it to you as an expression of my gratitude for your love and because I know that YOU are greater. I have faith that if I surrender to you, you will do more for me and through me than this ever could.” So Jesus offered his blood, simply because that is what God said it would take and because he understood the greater benefit.

Another way of thinking about it is in terms of WHO did the sacrificing. We always talk about Jesus being the one who made the sacrifice. And that is true, according to the Bible. He offered himself. BUT – he did it on our behalf. Usually, I understand that to mean that he died for our sakes.’ Also accurate, but I think there is more we can infer from that.  Let’s consider the necessary players in a typical, Old Testament-style sacrifice.

1. People – gotta have a sacrifice-or
2. Lamb (as an example) – gotta have a payment
3. God – gotta have a sacrifice-ee (someone to whom payment is owed)

So, how do we apply this format to Christ’s sacrifice? When we say he did what he did on our behalf, he took on the roles of both sacrifice-or AND lamb.  Christ gave himself over at the betrayal and urging of the people. But if he had not willingly gone to the cross, and the people still executed him, the only motives would have been those of the people and the desires of their hearts were not good, faithful or God-seeking. Could God have honored such a sacrifice? I don’t mean to limit his power at all here, but I don’t think so. I think it is against his nature and innate purity to accept anything so unclean (Gen. 4:7).  But the offering Jesus made was pure and right.

Another few thoughts on communion: We see god “eating” in Exodus, too, but in very different context. When Moses comes down from the mountain after receiving instruction from God only to find the people worshipping an idol, he has the idol crushed and the people ingest it (Ex. 32:20). They are, essentially, eating their sin. It is an interesting parallel to think that we practice God eating when we take communion, too. Jesus’ body was broken and his blood shed because we broke it and spilled it.  So when we take communion, perhaps we should reflect on the fact that our God is powerful enough to use even our most terrible evil to ultimately deliver us from it. God worked our sin for good so that we may truly “commune” with him. That is true sovereignty.

Romans 8:28: And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

***Please don’t hesitate to point out any faulty presuppositions or errors you may notice! I would love to hear from you.

A friend and mentor posted a blog entry today that paralleled some of my own recent musings beautifully. The gist (please don’t hesitate to correct me if this doesn’t sound accurate, Crystal) is that while God certainly is involved and present in our lives, she doesn’t think he actively leads us to or shows us every single specific thing we should do. A short excerpt (read the rest here):

“Perhaps God presents each of us with a similar opportunity every day. I want you to partner with me to build my kingdom. If you’re genuinely excited about that, look around, see the needs, and give of yourself and your resources in the ways that seem good to you.”

I agree with her wholeheartedly. I usually do, but even when I suspect that I might disagree, I can’t for the very life of me come up with a well-reasoned response.   Anyway, my own thoughts have been along the same lines lately, but pertaining to giving thanks to God. I tend to be an over-thanker, if such a thing is possible. Please don’t misunderstand – I believe that we should show God our gratitude in everything we do. An example to clarify: I am late for work and searching for a missing shoe. When I find it, I say a quick “thank you for helping me find that shoe, God.” Now, did God really tune in and see that I needed that shoe to get out the door and cause me to look in the right place? Maybe, but not necessarily. I think that God does sometimes directly intervene, but not always. As a parent, I don’t expect my kid to thank me every time something goes well for her. However, I would happily accept her gratitude for giving her the skills and knowledge necessary to get there (I know, wishful thinking, right?). But maybe that is what I should be thanking God for, too. Upon further reflection, I realize that I never say “gee, God, I’m really glad you gave me the capacity to be lazy and messy and lose that shoe in the first place.” But shouldn’t I?

Suddenly, this becomes about free will. This issue agitates me. I do not understand free will. But a creature with choices is not stationary or static and for that I am grateful. We are ever choosing, changing, maturing. God allows us to test him, which makes our eventual connection with him and love for him so much stronger. Our choices, experiences and feelings can help build a foundation for true and complete acceptance of God.

PS- On my mother’s birthday -

Mom, Growing up in the light of your faith and grace has made life so much better in so many ways than it could have been. Thank you for equipping me well. I love you.

What caught me was a comment about the nature of our relationship to God. To paraphrase: Without evil in the world and the opportunity to choose to overcome it, there could never be a fully realized love between God and man. Okay. Not a new idea. Choosing to call on God, allowing him to meet our needs, is one way we can learn about him, know him.

2 Corinthians 12:9: But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

This verse always makes me think. I like like it; but upon further reflection, it confuses me. How could God’s power be made perfect? If he had created us to clearly and simply understand his power and his love, would it really be any less amazing? God created humanity and placed us in paradise. But he created beings without his capacity to understand the universe and decided that we should share the planet with Lucifer, who was sent here not to enjoy a cushy promotion, but to languish apart from God.

The Bible indicates that God cannot do things that are contrary to his own nature; that he cannot, for example, lie (Titus 1:2) or “…deny himself” (2 Timothy 2:13). This leads me to conclude that humanity is what it is because it has to be. How’s that for cryptic? But seriously, if God can only act in accordance with his nature, which is indivisibly wise, perfect, loving, just, etc, then humans can’t be (for some reason I just can’t grasp) perfect on the same level God is. But how is it that such imperfect people and angels and beasts came from a perfect creator? If he can’t even choose evil, how are we so very susceptible to it?

While I have an ever-increasing number of questions and even doubts, God has also blessed me with a generous measure of conviction and faith in the matter of his goodness. I don’t understand it but I feel it – even though the world can be ugly and life can be hard. I don’t expect my personal feelings and emotions to factor in other peoples’ searches, but I hope that occasionally I can effectively communicate why he is the force in the universe with which I want to be connected. To borrow a prayer:

Your hands have made and fashioned me; give me understanding that I may learn your commandments. -Psalm 119:73

Happy searching!

Sarah

While life is full of good things right now, there are a few decisions weighing on my mind and heart. I’ve wasted precious time feeling bad and genuinely stressed about a couple of commitments, lately. I desperately want to withdraw from these commitments because, after making them, I recognized that they were the wrong choices. Changing my mind now, though, would disappoint and inconvenience people I care about.

So I’ve been praying. The other day, I’m ashamed to admit, I prayed for some extenuating circumstance that would make it easy for me to beg off and that wouldn’t make anyone else feel bad. Upon further reflection, I don’t believe for a second that asking God to enable me because I didn’t make the right call in the first place and now don’t have the guts to take responsibility for it, is appropriate. This train of thought led me to the realization that the feelings of emotional turmoil I’ve been experiencing really are a gift. They are just one indication that I’m not doing what I know I should be.  I’ve also prayed for comfort, but truthfully… I know exactly what I need to do for that, too. I’ve been fighting and fighting. Putting off action because it will be hard for me. Following what I believe is God’s urging and trusting that he will help me through is the only way to relieve these feelings of contradiction and disharmony.

Now, the decisions I’m talking about are not that dramatic… other people would probably roll their eyes at my level of self-absorption here, but nonetheless it’s made Jonah seem particularly relevant to me. Yes, his commitment was scarier, but it’s a reminder that I can’t be released from my self-inflicted anxiety while I’m fighting God.

So, if you’re taking prayer requests, please pray that I will have the strength and faith to act in the way that I should.

Thank you and happy Sunday!!

I really think that God is downright odd! I mean, he’s known our hearts from the very beginning, knew we would not choose him, knew we would require intervention and salvation. And yet, it had to be thousands of years after the fall, had to be complicated and involve things like prophesy and bloodlines… it seems so strange.

And in terms of sacrifice, well, God didn’t walk away empty-handed. I frequently hear people say that Jesus did what he did for our sakes. I think that is true, but not the whole story. Is God’s joy not affected by the joy of his creation? As a parent, I feel joy when my child feels joy and pain when she feels pain. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that, but it does have an element of selfishness. I want to make her happy, in part because it makes me happy. I don’t want her to suffer, in part because I feel that, too. Is our idea of selflessness skewed? Maybe the focus should be on doing the will of God and focusing on the needs of others because that is the only way our own joy can be fully realized. And that is showing true gratitude to God. If he feels joy when I do, then I should do what I can to be genuinely happy. “Love thy neighbor as thyself” is a commandment that is interesting in this context. We always emphasize the neighbor, but how many of us can say we love and value ourselves in a pure and right way?

I can’t tell you exactly why I believe (although I’m working on that) in the literal death and resurrection of Jesus, but I do. I believe that miracle is the reason humanity can have hope. I know people have tried to explain it metaphorically, but that really makes no sense to me at all. I used to think I had a brain that could handle abstract concepts, but lately they elude me.

So, I do think it’s possible our Lenten and Easter traditions miss the mark a bit. I also think that perhaps there is a big picture element here we can’t see; but I am still full of gratitude and awe. And the mystery only deepens my ever-present desire to know and understand my creator.