Even if this awareness doesn’t perceptibly change the way I behave, thinking of people as eternal subtly changes my view of humans. Hehehe. I’m currently envisioning a room full of eternal souls instead of just bodies… how odd!

Could the ways I contribute to the development of my daughter’s heart and mind have eternal ramifications? I’m not trying to make parents feel even greater burden than they already do, here… just following a train of thought.

I have a very hard time understanding who I am apart from my body. For example, I might feel strongly, passionately moved by something and attribute it to my unique personality and spiritual self but how much of that is in fact attributable to the chemicals and hormones at work in my body, shaping my emotions? I don’t know what the soul is without the body. I don’t know what kind of existence we will lead after death, what kind of individuality we will retain. I spent some time reading verses about life after death yesterday and this morning. While the Bible gives us plenty of references, there is also still plenty of mystery as far as I’m concerned.

So, I’m curious: In your interactions with people, are you ever conscious of their immortality?

Happy Sunday!

I find some of their arguments quite compelling. If you don’t know much about this idea, I’m sure your brain is already forming all kinds of questions and objections. Gulley and Mulholland do address many of them. I will not attempt to do that here, but the book is worth reading if you want to know more. There is some very interesting scriptural support for Universalism. Just a few examples include:

• 1 Corinthians 15:21-22: For as by a man came death, by a man has come also the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive.
• Romans 5:18: Therefore, as one trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all men.
• John 12:32: And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.”

I know: You can think of arguments already and about a million other contradictory scriptures. I still think this is fascinating and worth exploring. My issue with the book is that the authors reject certain biblical accounts that don’t conform to their theology and accept others that do. This is a problem for me. I don’t know how one can maintain intellectual objectivity while rejecting parts of the history book and endorsing others. Perhaps they don’t agree with the selection of books that was canonized, but if any of their agreements and rejections are within the same book or even written by the same author, I’m just not sure I can take their conclusions into consideration. I would be much more interested to read an argument for Universalism that reconciles contradictory scriptures, if in fact that can be done.

At the very least, this book has introduced me to another viewpoint. It has also got me reflecting anew on my doubt that logic will ever lead us to a definitive answer regarding spiritual matters. Even the smartest, most devout, faithful and well-intentioned among us hit snags in the fabric of belief. All the more reason to commit to careful examination of our hearts, minds and actions.

The view from a local park... "heavenly"

They are fairly long, but worth the read! And a big thank you to Crystal for taking the time to respond so thoughtfully. 

I recently finished reading and discussing Paul’s letter to the Romans with a fellow blogger. I don’t know if you’re familiar with Romans 13, but in verses 1-5 (subheading is “Submission to the Authorities”) there are some difficult words for someone like myself who feels passionately that non-violence is the best way to approach everything… even for those in authority. (Before I go any further, this post is not intended to offend or criticize those who are serving or have served in the military. I have deep respect for people who support their convictions with actions and are willing to make sacrifices on behalf of the people and principles they love.)

Romans 13: 1-5

1Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. 3For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. 4For he is God’s servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God’s servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. 5Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience.

On the surface, this seems political and quite unfair. There have been so many oppressive leaders. Surely we shouldn’t follow and submit to the authority of those we know are doing evil things. But my study leader shared a helpful perspective with me. She feels that this passage defends the office of authority, not specific rulers. I agree. God gave us a system of hierarchy, perhaps to address earthly chaos.

But I still have a hard time with this text when I read it sandwiched between Paul’s non-violent, “love your enemy” recommendations. And Paul was hardly submissive to the authorities. For that matter, neither was Jesus. So who are these “rulers” God has appointed to wield swords of righteousness? Do they know who they are? Do they have some kind of divine permission to read this passage from a position of power or should we all be reading it assuming that we are servants rather than authorities?

Jesus exhibited anger, yes, but didn’t advocate violence. Are we not all supposed to model our lives’ after Christ’s? Maybe this is an odd question, but do we actually take this advice too far sometimes? After all, Jesus had the ultimate authority. He tells us, “I and the Father are one.” John 10:30. If we can’t claim the same authority and knowledge, perhaps we shouldn’t always act as Jesus did – from a position of power. Although, if we should follow Jesus as closely as possible, then even the powerful must note that Jesus had incredible power, and yet chose to give himself to humanity as a servant.

In King’s Cross, Timothy Keller intimates the opinion that a God of love must also be a God of wrath. I agree completely. When you love, you become angry at that which harms or destroys the object of your love. But where do we draw the line? If your anger is righteous, are violent actions ever justified? Every fiber of my being shouts, “NO!” But even in the New Testament, God chose to end lives. Jesus did not. How do we reconcile these different facets of God’s character?

I guess I’ve always felt that God, in his power and intimate knowledge of all things, can take people out of the world if he sees fit, but as we do not have the benefit of… well… being God, we can hardly feel justified doing the same. So what do you make of Romans 13? Do you think it seems contradictory to other biblical themes?

This week, I decided to start a project and I wanted to do it myself. It required disassembling shelving, pulling an absurd number of plastic wall anchors out of drywall, patching holes, painting, removing doors and assembling furniture from Target (pretty sure Lamentations was written as a direct response to “assembly required.” ***).  But I did it! It isn’t perfect, but five years ago, I don’t think I’d have had the patience or drive.

Surveying my work, I felt very proud of myself indeed. It was a small personal victory. Now, though, I’m feeling reflective. The “I took a shortcut and I’m dissatisfied with the results” problem is not exclusive to do-it-yourself projects. It applies to every area of our lives. From parenting to preparing a meal, when we don’t commit to making our best effort, we suffer both the practical and psychological consequences. And to fulfill our potential we have to invite God in. If he created us, then we would in a literal sense be nothing without him. And if he has the power to form the universe, to create humanity in all of its staggering beauty and diversity, then I could ask for no better help.

When I said, “I’m not a do-it-yourselfer” earlier, it was an admission of laziness. I want to be able to use that expression in an entirely different way; to change it to mean that I’ve committed to working hard… with God’s help. My hunch is that learning to recognize his guidance and accept his help, will require some demolition. I will have to expose and acknowledge my flaws and ask him to fill those holes I haven’t patched, to smooth over the rough edges. In short, I want God to redecorate my soul. 

2 Corinthians 5:17 – Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

Colossians 1:29 – For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.

1 Corinthians 15:58 – Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

*** Post-publication Edit: I’m leaving that quip about “assembly required,” but I couldn’t help but feel like a terribly spoiled thing after re-reading it. I apologize if it seemed like I was making light of the very real pain and suffering in the world.

“Prone to wander, Lord I feel it…”

I immediately get a bird’s eye view of a lone wanderer standing in the midst of green valleys and hills.

“Let thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee…”

brings to mind delicate gossamer tethers that stretch from the heavens to each of us.

To some degree, I think we all do this. When we hear or read words, we internalize and interpret them based on our own tendencies and experiences. When we hear that God is “good,” that he provides “comfort,” that he is “jealous,” our minds create a picture or idea about who he is. And indeed we should. The Word gives us these attributes for a reason. It seems that God wants us to have some understanding of him, to know him.

But when we use words to describe him, we also limit him. Perhaps God has attributes we don’t know about. I can tell you that my husband is a gentleman, a hard worker and a good father. You might get a basic idea in your mind about him, but that concept would change and deepen dramatically if all the other facets of his character were revealed to you.

On the flipside of this coin is the assumption that we can’t possibly know or understand the vast mystery that is God.

I think that both of these tendencies (to define or to assume we can’t) can lead to complacency or laziness. You’ve heard people use pat expressions about God that sound cliche or have lost their meaning. “It’s all part of God’s plan” or “Everything happens for a reason” are popular. And then you’ve heard people chalk tough questions up to the unknowable nature of God. We may not ever quite “get it” but that should never be an excuse not to search. When you really think about some mystery of life, give your entire self over to understanding it, learn all that you can and then find that you still can’t make all the pieces of the puzzle fit, it can renew a sense of wonder. It might be frustrating, but its humbling, too. I can’t say I’ve ever committed that fully to any search, but I’ve still experienced incredible awe.

And when we limit God, we limit the things that we can do through him. The Bible is full of verses about just how amazing we are, and we think of them as nice little inspirational quotes. I feel like we need to be jolted out of our complacency sometimes.  Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” All things? What does that mean exactly? It seems that today we don’t seriously consider that through God, we are capable of things beyond our wildest dreams. We are downright cynical when anyone mentions miraculous healing or speaking in tongues… myself included. But Jesus tells us that we will do greater things than even he did (John 14:12)! I don’t know what that means, but I don’t think we should rule anything out, either.

Here’s to opening our minds and hearts to miracles. Happy Sunday!

Although it isn’t something I’m entirely comfortable discussing, today I feel compelled to address depression from a biblical standpoint. The word “depression”  is thrown around today in a casual way that really disturbs me. I know that anti-depressants are widely used and that everyone seems to know people who are or have been depressed. But that doesn’t make the associated feelings any less real or horrible. It doesn’t mean that the people asking for help are necessarily more self-absorbed or less capable than anyone else. Yes, depression can be sinful and selfish, but most of us battle self-absorption… it just manifests in different ways. It does seem particularly relevant in the first-world. Maybe there are cultural variables that make us more likely to become depressed, but I don’t think so. You only need open your Bible to see myriad verses addressing fear, anxiety, mourning, tears, oppression and darkness.

I don’t know exactly how depression makes others feel, but I’ve had just enough experience with it to care deeply for those who are really struggling. For me, it had very physical effects. The feeling of removal or isolation was positively palpable. On a beautiful, sunny day the world could appear (literally) quite dim; A heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach made me feel anxious, like something was truly wrong. Irritability was always bubbling in my chest. It never seemed to be situational – I couldn’t point to any external circumstance that was affecting me. Many people can relate to these feelings – it is no picnic when they are all present for an extended period. I apologize if that sounds melodramatic, I’m only trying to help those who haven’t been there to understand on some level.

But recently when I begin to feel low or angry in a non-constructive way, I am aware of a fork in the road. I experience the feeling and then I face a conscious decision: I can give in and wallow in these feelings, or I can acknowledge them and choose to act in a positive way. I don’t ever remember recognizing this choice before. I think it is a gift, an opportunity to avoid negativity, but where there is choice there is also burden. It should be simple: I want to feel happy, so I should choose the happy path. I don’t want my loved ones to suffer because I’m unhappy, so I should choose the happy path. But ironically, in the moment, I WANT to let the anger or depression in. I don’t always choose correctly.

When describing these feelings, I’m afraid I have used the excuse, “I can’t help it.” It is my resolution for the New Year to stop using this insipid expression. I may not be able to control the feelings, but I CAN control my actions. I can accept God’s offer to help me out of that quicksand trap. 2 Timothy 1:7 tells us: “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” The overwhelming theme in the verses that address the feelings I’ve been talking about is that through God people can receive solace, strength, hope… My new-found awareness of these spiritual gifts leads me to an understanding that to refuse them is to deliberately turn away from God; something I’d like to avoid!

Would that we all could someday joyfully pray:

“You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,” ~Psalm 30:11

Take care, everyone!

I’m a little sad to see this year go… It’s been pretty fantastic. Next week my husband and I will celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary. We’ve grown so much together. Our love, patience and understanding for each other seem to increase every year. With great discipline and commitment, each of us has also honed a remarkable talent for irritating the other. The addition of a curious, talkative, smiley baby girl last year makes this anniversary seem even more meaningful.

We’ve lived in beautiful Iowa for six years, but it is only recently that we have begun to feel really rooted. We’ve made some fabulous friends, found a church and discovered so many great places to eat, hike, shop and just enjoy in general.

On a strictly personal level, I have loved every second at home with my daughter. The time to read and blog is an added bonus. I don’t think I’ve ever done so much “living in the moment.” I like it.

Our families have done well, too. There have been some challenges and struggles, but everyone seems to be hanging in there. We can’t thank our friends and families enough for their support. That sounds like such a pat statement, but it is meant with the utmost sincerity and gratitude.

I’ve been sitting here trying to decide how to wrap this up, and I feel compelled to relate a rare moment of peace and renewal that I experienced the other day. One morning last week, I found myself keenly aware of my blessings and of God’s proximity. The feeling was peaceful and yet full of emotion. There was a pervasive quietness within me. I felt distinctly not alone in a way that was deeply comforting. Maybe that sounds a bit hokey or vague, but I wish that all of you might feel the same contentment in the year ahead.

Prayers for peace and joy for all of you! Merry Christmas,

Sarah

Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God hath already accepted thy works. ~Ecclesiastes 9:7