Just One More in the Vanity Series (Christianity and Women)

Lately, I’ve been trying to work through my feelings on what scripture says about the ways a woman should live.  I’ve mostly ignored this issue to this point, because it bothers me. It is tough for me to take emotion out of it, but I’ve tried very hard to view it objectively. Thank you to my awesome spiritual mentors for lending your perspectives and helping expand mine. I’m writing this post after reading one from Tim (Tim’s Blog – Just One Train Wreck After Another) that I thought was pretty awesome. You can read it here: http://timfall.wordpress.com/2013/04/24/biblical-womanhood-is-nothing-and-neither-is-biblical-manhood/. In it he states:

“Which brings me to the point. How Biblical Manhood and Biblical Womanhood – whatever those phrases mean – are lived by the members of the body of Christ will be different for each individual woman and man. The only universal principle that I can discern in Scripture is that we are each destined to be more like Jesus as we grow in him.”

I love that. Here are some of my thoughts on this issue.

First, I believe that historical context has some bearing on specific verses applying to women (such as, perhaps, Paul’s instructions about women serving in the church in 1 Corinthians 14:33-35), but the general theme of submission and subservience seems to say that women are worth less than men. This offends my sensitive ego (hmm… now we’re getting somewhere. )Please don’t misunderstand – I do believe that men and women are different and that acknowledging and embracing our diversity allows us to serve better. The issue for me is this feeling of inherent inferiority. But I think maybe I’m reading something that isn’t there. The fact is, verses about submission do not apply only to women. It is easy to pluck these verses out of the Bible and, therefore, assess them out of context, but we are ALL to live lives of submission in Christ. And the beautiful thing is that if we follow the advice given us, there is no abuse of power; in fact, we use it to give back and to serve. Submission is power, for serving others is an act of love and nothing is more valuable or powerful than that. Like any ideal, this model can and has been perverted, taken out of context and used as justification for devaluing people. That is not an indication of its validity, but of the misguided (at least, that’s the word I’ll use in polite company) nature of humanity.

I still don’t entirely understand the hierarchical structure evidenced in the Bible, even within the trinity, but at the end of the day, Christ served us and he served God. If Jesus’ ego didn’t keep him from washing the feet of his disciples, maybe mine shouldn’t keep me from washing the feet of my husband, or anyone else for that matter. The validity test? Well, I’ll let you know if the fruit is good. I suspect it will be.

Feeling Like Pharaoh

I feel called to do certain things in this life. They are usually quite specific and probably not that interesting, so suffice it to say, I truly do feel that God asks things of me sometimes. I hope I haven’t scared anyone off already – I’m not talking about authoritative voices no one else can hear or prophetic visions (although, who am I to rule out such things?) but about feeling unusually convicted in my heart about something that might be as simple as, “Sarah, you should call Jane Smith.” I think this is a gift. I don’t know if everyone receives this gift or not, but it is pretty great that I don’t have to wonder about what I should be doing. Here’s the rub: The vast majority of the time, I don’t do these things. I harden my heart. I want to do them. I feel strongly pulled in that direction, but when the time comes to act, I feel like I just can’t.

It brings to mind Pharaoh’s repeated refusals to release the Israelites from Egypt. Scripture tells us that Pharaoh hardened his own heart a number of times and also that God hardened his heart. I think this is an important distinction. Why would God do such a thing? I can only guess, but if God knew Pharaoh’s heart and mind as intimately as only a creator could, knew Pharaoh would never act out of true and good conviction and saw that the only way to effect the release of the people and wider-spread knowledge of his power was to harden Pharaoh’s heart… well, that makes sense to me. So, at what point does God take me at my word? When does he finally say, “Okay – you’ve said no and you’ve said no. You’ve made it pretty clear that you aren’t interested in the work I’ve set before you.”?

I certainly don’t want that to happen. I want to give back. Why don’t I? I’m sure there’s lots of psychology there, but at least in part it’s vanity and power struggle. I want to be in control of my own life. Sounds ridiculous, but it burns me sometimes that no matter what I do, I am not my own master. But I didn’t make me, so whatever beauty and goodness I find there, whatever capacity for beauty and goodness I find there, I can only credit to the one who did.

I don’t have any fabulous pointers about overcoming these obstacles to obedience, but I needed to record these thoughts somewhere. If you DO happen to have pointers, by all means, comment!

God, please make me receptive to your Word and your sovereignty. Amen.

What is it that’s so Hard About Commitment?

Lately I’ve been fighting a low mood. Things seem to take more energy than I can give them. I often feel like I don’t do enough. So I started thinking about the things that fill my days. I care for a toddler, I work two days a week, I clean, I cook, I run an (albeit tiny) online business, I exercise, I attend and study for Bible study, I attend church and often am involved in the worship service in some small way and once in a great while, I blog. I try to connect with other people, too.  So… okay. I don’t do nothing. I know lots of people have comparable or much busier schedules than I and, while I’m not saying people can’t do many things well, what I discovered is that I am both under-and-over-committed at the same time. To clarify, while I do plenty, I don’t do ANY of the things I listed as well as I could. And while I have quite a few commitments, I find myself cheating on them and being less consistent and steadfast than I’d like to be. I also find that my attitude toward something to which I’ve committed is usually at least a little negative. Things that I want to do, that are pleasurable to me, feel like obligations the second I commit. I’m better about that than I used to be, but it is still a problem.

Jesus exhibited a commitment to long, hard work, as did his disciples. And they knew the importance of rest. Interestingly, though, for Jesus and at least some of his disciples it seemed to be their only work. I’m sure that work manifested itself in myriad ways, but the goal was unchanging. Maybe that’s what needs to change for me. I tend to focus on the individual goals of each activity or venture and am quick to lose sight of God in them. And maybe it seems over the top to keep my eye on God while I’m vacuuming up cracker crumbs and dog hair, but If my goal is to love and please God as well as I possibly can, if I stop saying, “I don’t want to” so often and just act, maybe the work will be more fruitful and the rest and refreshment will come easier.

But WHY is it so very hard? I know that it won’t easy to change my focus. Even now my brain and heart are rejecting some of the things I know I need to do to eliminate the clutter that doesn’t serve his purpose. I don’t know how to become a cheerful and energetic giver, except to continue to pray and, well, fake it till I make it.

It is encouraging to look back over the last few years, though, and see that I have changed. I know that I will ALWAYS be trying to get closer to God, but it’s nice to know that progress can be made. For all of you stubborn kindred spirits who are struggling to give up the internal battle and let God change you, I get it. Keep the faith!

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” -Colossians 3:23-24

 

 

The Bread of Affliction

No regular post today; just feeling overwhelmed, for lack of a more appropriate word, at the immense, intense pain and suffering and fear that so many people experience every day. It is a struggle for me to truly and fully face these things when I come across them, and a struggle to not become immobilized. But I know that it is not right to close my eyes and assume that I can’t help.

I don’t have a wise insight or biblical wisdom that makes it all easier, but a verse that I read a few months ago stayed with me and keeps coming to mind, so I wanted to share it.

“And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher.”  Isaiah 30:20

Oddly, while the promise is comforting, it isn’t what struck me. What struck me was the God-given “…bread of adversity and the water of affliction.” Could it be that sometimes these are the very things that sustain us? Such things often prompt us to look to God, to accept our inability apart from Him. I don’t wish to sound callous, but maybe pain can indeed nourish us. God, I hope so. And I pray for the courage, compassion and humble spirit necessary to be your hands and feet.   

 

Looking for an Atheist Perspective

I’ve been reading some Christian-themed blog posts lately and have noticed that sometimes atheists with dissenting viewpoints will comment, at times with honest input but sometimes with hostility and derision. Why is that? Why, indeed, do you read them in the first place? If you don’t believe in life after death… if you believe that death is the end, then what does it matter what I think anyway? Particularly if the results of my faith are things like greater personal honesty and responsibility, kindness and generosity.

I can’t buy the argument that it’s about truth because, again, why does the truth matter if we die and don’t go on? If my way of life brings me fulfillment, why work so hard to destroy that, especially when you can’t prove it wrong?

And if you’ve had a bad experience with people claiming religion as their justification for bad behavior, well… people can pervert ANY cause. I, too, oppose any perpetuation of discrimination, bigotry, cruelty and disease. It IS okay and, in fact, right for each person to discern between what they believe is good and what they believe is evil or wrong. Everyone does it, whether or not they are religious, so the “judgmental” argument falls apart for me, too.

Please don’t think I am trying to be incendiary here. And this really isn’t a rhetorical question. I would love some sincere input to better understand where you’re coming from. Thank you!

A few Thoughts on Communion

Honest admission: Communion has never really… clicked for me. I sit there on Sundays and try to really think about it or feel the gratitude I know I should and usually wind up drawing a bit of a blank. Recognizing and reflecting on Jesus’ sacrifice through a physical act is all well and good, but for some reason the symbolism hasn’t ever had much impact. And it should! The strangeness, the enormity of the thing; the incredible, voluntary suffering of God should feel like a big deal. God found a way to offer us salvation despite our obstinacy and unwillingness to love and honor him. Can I better grasp the sacrifice itself? Can I feel it more deeply?

I recently heard an interesting comparison worth sharing. I can’t seem to find the source for this sacrifice analogy but in it humanity is likened to a human body with a faulty heart that needs a transplant. Jesus offers his at the cost of his own life. I kind of like that, but the question it doesn’t address for me is this one:  Does Jesus’ resurrection make his sacrifice less meaningful?

After some reading and thinking, I don’t think so. The greater our love for our loved ones, the greater our pain when they are hurting, making terrible choices, dying. If God’s love for humanity and Jesus is not only great, but perfect, perhaps his suffering is that much more agonizing, whether temporary or not. The same might be said of Jesus.

Another interesting idea is that the way we understand sacrifice today is different from its biblical meaning. We seem very focused on suffering when we talk about sacrifice, but maybe it isn’t about how much Jesus suffered or even IF he suffered. Scripture tells us that he did (Heb 2:18, Mat. 27: 46, Mat. 26:36-39), and I believe that DOES make a difference, but should it affect our view of the validity of his sacrifice? In the Old Testament, it doesn’t seem that a sacrifice is more or less effective based on the level of suffering. Sacrificing to God means to me that we present something valuable to him, saying in our hearts, “yes, this thing is important to me, but I can give it up, offering it to you as an expression of my gratitude for your love and because I know that YOU are greater. I have faith that if I surrender to you, you will do more for me and through me than this ever could.” So Jesus offered his blood, simply because that is what God said it would take and because he understood the greater benefit.

Another way of thinking about it is in terms of WHO did the sacrificing. We always talk about Jesus being the one who made the sacrifice. And that is true, according to the Bible. He offered himself. BUT – he did it on our behalf. Usually, I understand that to mean that he died for our sakes.’ Also accurate, but I think there is more we can infer from that.  Let’s consider the necessary players in a typical, Old Testament-style sacrifice.

1. People – gotta have a sacrifice-or
2. Lamb (as an example) – gotta have a payment
3. God – gotta have a sacrifice-ee (someone to whom payment is owed)

So, how do we apply this format to Christ’s sacrifice? When we say he did what he did on our behalf, he took on the roles of both sacrifice-or AND lamb.  Christ gave himself over at the betrayal and urging of the people. But if he had not willingly gone to the cross, and the people still executed him, the only motives would have been those of the people and the desires of their hearts were not good, faithful or God-seeking. Could God have honored such a sacrifice? I don’t mean to limit his power at all here, but I don’t think so. I think it is against his nature and innate purity to accept anything so unclean (Gen. 4:7).  But the offering Jesus made was pure and right.

Another few thoughts on communion: We see god “eating” in Exodus, too, but in very different context. When Moses comes down from the mountain after receiving instruction from God only to find the people worshipping an idol, he has the idol crushed and the people ingest it (Ex. 32:20). They are, essentially, eating their sin. It is an interesting parallel to think that we practice God eating when we take communion, too. Jesus’ body was broken and his blood shed because we broke it and spilled it.  So when we take communion, perhaps we should reflect on the fact that our God is powerful enough to use even our most terrible evil to ultimately deliver us from it. God worked our sin for good so that we may truly “commune” with him. That is true sovereignty.

Romans 8:28: And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

***Please don’t hesitate to point out any faulty presuppositions or errors you may notice! I would love to hear from you.

Free Will and Divine Intervention

Disclaimer: The title for this post is a bit (or a lot) ambitious. I won’t be exploring these ideas in depth – just a few thoughts.

A friend and mentor posted a blog entry today that paralleled some of my own recent musings beautifully. The gist (please don’t hesitate to correct me if this doesn’t sound accurate, Crystal) is that while God certainly is involved and present in our lives, she doesn’t think he actively leads us to or shows us every single specific thing we should do. A short excerpt (read the rest here):

“Perhaps God presents each of us with a similar opportunity every day. I want you to partner with me to build my kingdom. If you’re genuinely excited about that, look around, see the needs, and give of yourself and your resources in the ways that seem good to you.”

I agree with her wholeheartedly. I usually do, but even when I suspect that I might disagree, I can’t for the very life of me come up with a well-reasoned response.   Anyway, my own thoughts have been along the same lines lately, but pertaining to giving thanks to God. I tend to be an over-thanker, if such a thing is possible. Please don’t misunderstand – I believe that we should show God our gratitude in everything we do. An example to clarify: I am late for work and searching for a missing shoe. When I find it, I say a quick “thank you for helping me find that shoe, God.” Now, did God really tune in and see that I needed that shoe to get out the door and cause me to look in the right place? Maybe, but not necessarily. I think that God does sometimes directly intervene, but not always. As a parent, I don’t expect my kid to thank me every time something goes well for her. However, I would happily accept her gratitude for giving her the skills and knowledge necessary to get there (I know, wishful thinking, right?). But maybe that is what I should be thanking God for, too. Upon further reflection, I realize that I never say “gee, God, I’m really glad you gave me the capacity to be lazy and messy and lose that shoe in the first place.” But shouldn’t I?

Suddenly, this becomes about free will. This issue agitates me. I do not understand free will. But a creature with choices is not stationary or static and for that I am grateful. We are ever choosing, changing, maturing. God allows us to test him, which makes our eventual connection with him and love for him so much stronger. Our choices, experiences and feelings can help build a foundation for true and complete acceptance of God.

PS- On my mother’s birthday -

Mom, Growing up in the light of your faith and grace has made life so much better in so many ways than it could have been. Thank you for equipping me well. I love you.